Let's be real, 2024 wasn't the easiest year, especially when it came to dating. I had some experiences that really made me stop and think. I realised I needed to take a step back and focus on me for a while. Sometimes, finding the right person starts with finding yourself.
So, I recently escaped to France for a few weeks, and it was exactly what I needed. Time with my best friends and family gave me a chance to breathe and reflect, and honestly, it made me realise something pretty profound: my friendships are more meaningful than any romantic relationship I could ever have. I know, that might sound a bit dramatic, especially since I was in a six-year relationship. But hear me out.
My real friends… they don't need me to be some perfect version of myself. I can just be with them, messy and flawed and everything in between. There's so much pressure on women, socially, to be that special person for a man (and, just to be clear, I'm only talking about heterosexual relationships here, because that's all I know). It's a pressure that's both mental and physical. So many times, I've felt like I had to look a certain way, act a certain way, just to be attractive to a guy. It's exhausting!
With my friends, it's the total opposite. I can be whoever I am, whenever I am, because they already know the real me. There's no judgement, just pure acceptance. And they're always there to pick me up when I lose my way, or when someone else tries to knock me down. They're my anchors.
Now, you might be thinking, "Okay, so she's moving away from dating... does she even have enough material for her blog in 2025?" Oh honey, trust me. I've got stories. Crazy ones. Even wilder than the ones I've already shared. I could keep this blog going for ages just on those alone! Plus, this whole "dating detox" has actually given me some perspective.
I even revisited some old flames, guys I was obsessed with back in the day. And you know what? Total disappointments. Every single one. It just confirmed what I already suspected: they weren't right for me. If they were, trust me, this story would have a very different ending. I needed to do one last "experiment" in 2024, just to see if I could pinpoint exactly what wasn't working. I wanted to figure out if there were any lessons I could learn, anything I could take away from the whole experience. And, let's be honest, a few more twists and turns make for some great blog content, right? Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do... for the science... or maybe just for the plot?
Before I dive into the "almost-didn't-make-the-blog" dating stories, I need to talk about something even more important: friendships. I realised I needed to ditch some toxic friendships and really focus on the real ones. Because this isn't just about romantic love, it's about all kinds of love, especially the love you get from your friends. And going forward, I really want to emphasise this: if you want to be the best version of yourself, the kind of person who attracts amazing people, you need a solid support system around you. Trust me, this is rule number one, the absolute key to finding the right partner. Because, believe it or not (and I've definitely learned this the hard way), it's when you're feeling your best, when your head is in a good place and you have strong, healthy friendships, that's when you attract people who want to be in your life for the long haul, not just for a quick fling (as disappointing as those moments can be...).
Okay, so, let's dive back into the dating chronicles. Remember in Chapter 3 (Check-in 1) when I mentioned those three guys? Well, one of them, the one I described as "having everything I could ask for," he's getting his own chapter, so stay tuned for that. But the other two... they're getting the brief treatment. One was the Israeli-French man (we'll call him "The Unreachable") and the other was the guy I was thinking about while I was in Mykonos (aka "The Houdini"). I decided to see both of them again, but honestly, their stories are more "footnote" than "feature film," so I'll just give you the highlights here. They definitely don't deserve their own chapters, but they're worth a mention, and giving them little nicknames will make it easier to keep track of them.
Alright, so let's talk about The Houdini and The Unreachable. Where do I even begin? These two… well, they definitely reinforced my decision to take a break from dating. It's like I needed one last dose of "nope, not doing this anymore" to really solidify it. Oh honey, these stories are something.
So, The Unreachable. Remember, back in Chapter 3, he basically vanished – no messages, poof, gone from social media. Then, while I was in Paris, he resurfaced! Out of the blue, he messaged me, wanting to meet up. I won't go into the reasons for his social media disappearance, as that's his story to tell, but we did have a great night. He took me to this amazing rooftop restaurant, and we even went out with friends to a rave (short version: fun times!). We met up two more times when I was back in Paris, and each time was a blast. We just clicked – same beliefs, same sense of humour, I could be myself around him, which was something I always valued. But then… reality hit. We talked on FaceTime and over the phone a few times, and I just had to stop it. I realised, "This is pointless. I'm not Jewish, and this is never going anywhere." And that was that.
Fast forward to December 2024. We message on Instagram, and I tell him I'm going to be in Paris for Christmas. Every single fibre of my being was screaming don't do it, but I needed that final confirmation, that definitive "okay, we're done now" moment. And, like a fool, I ended up at his flat in Paris. Pizza, the usual… and then I just left the next day. It was the weirdest time we'd spent together. The vibe was completely off, we weren't as close as we used to be. Was it because I'd been so honest with him about the whole religious difference thing in the past? Who knows. And the cherry on top? He didn’t even text me the next day. He knows I hate that. I find it disrespectful, especially after sharing a night with someone. Haven't heard from him since.
The Unreachable… well, he lived up to his name. He reappeared, we had some fun, I thought maybe, just maybe… and then, poof, gone again. It just reinforced what I already knew: sometimes, no matter how much you click with someone, some things just aren't meant to be. And sometimes, you have to be the one to walk away, even when it hurts. Looking back, I think I need to be more honest with myself too. He was always upfront about what he wanted – a good time, not a long-term commitment. He told me that from the beginning. But I think I chose to see past it, hoping things would change. Which, of course, they didn't. So, lesson learned (hopefully). On to the next one!
Ah, The Houdini. This one… this one I was obsessed with. From the moment I met him, something just… struck me. Was it his smile? (Seriously, the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.) Or was it just his aura? I don't know. But I was hooked. Obsessed. With him, with everything he represented… which, looking back, wasn't even that great.
Like I said in Chapter 3, I just couldn't stop thinking about him. Every time I had a few drinks, he was the one I'd message. Which, in hindsight, was probably the worst thing I could do. Maybe he just thought I wasn't serious? Ugh. I'm not going to go into detail about our encounters. Partly because I'm not sure I want him to recognise himself if he ever reads this, and partly because he was quite adamant about not being featured on my blog. But, well… here we are.
He was always so funny when we met up, and I genuinely thought we had amazing chemistry. But then he moved away, and I knew I needed to get him out of my head. But for some reason, I just… couldn't. We hadn't even met up that many times, but he was constantly on my mind. I remember all the texting before we met the first time; it was non-stop. Honestly? This is my biggest dating disappointment of 2024. I really felt like there was something there, that it could have been something real. But somewhere along the line, things just… fell apart. And it sent me spiralling. I started questioning everything. What did I do wrong? Who am I? Am I not good enough?
And that brings me back to what I was saying earlier about friends. This is why they're so important. They communicate honestly, they tell you the truth, but they also don't make you feel like this. For so long, I was beating myself up, thinking, "What's wrong with me? How can someone be so into you one minute and then just… gone the next?" Does that even make sense? Is that how people date now? Is this the 21st-century male rulebook or something? Because it's brutal.
Anyway, the last time I saw him was when he was briefly back in the UK, and I, being the hopeless romantic that I am, made it pretty clear I wanted to see him. I'm trying to be careful about what I share about him – I'm not giving any details about his work or anything like that, so he's pretty hard to recognise (except for that killer smile, of course). So, he came over to my place. Looking back, not the best idea. He was a bit drunk, for one thing. And also, it bothered me that he never took me out for a proper date – drinks, dinner, anything. It always felt a bit… off. Like he wasn't really putting in the effort. But, like an idiot, I chose to ignore it. So, he came over, and for the first few hours, we just chatted, caught up on life. I always had fun talking to him. But here's the thing: I'm always so self-conscious around him. He makes me nervous. I was literally shaking! I was thinking, "Juliet, get a grip! Don't let him see you like this!"
The evening, honestly, wasn't exactly the best I've ever had. And I'm going to be completely honest here – even if it's not a serious relationship, I need someone to kiss me like they mean it. And The Houdini? Didn't feel like he wanted to kiss me at all. Was he shy? I don't know. I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say the "pleasure" was very one-sided, and I was left feeling… well, not great. Which made me mad. How could I let myself be treated like that? Like I was just being used for a good time, and I was dumb enough to let it happen. When he left, I just felt… weird. Used, obviously. And then, to add insult to injury, he didn't even bother to text afterwards. It just gave me such a bad impression of him. I used to really like him, what he represented (or what I thought he represented). But now? I'm just disgusted by his behaviour. Honestly, he was a big part of the reason I decided to take a break from dating altogether.
These two guys… they definitely taught me a few things. About myself, about what I want, and about what I don’t want. The Houdini showed me that charm and a great smile aren’t everything. The Unreachable reminded me that some doors are best left closed. And both of them, in their own way, highlighted the incredible value of my friends, the ones who are always there, through thick and thin. Dating can be a rollercoaster, but my friendships are my anchors. And going forward, I’m prioritising those connections, both with myself and with my friends. Because that’s where the real love is.
Juliet.
